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Trump Greenland Card At Davos – Satire

11 0
23.01.2026

“I’m asking for a piece of ice… it’s a very small ask.” — US President Donald Trump speaking at World Economic Forum, Davos, 21 January 2026

LOCATION: THE GOLD ROOM – MAR-A-LAGO

TIME: 01:15 AM

​The air is thick with the scent of well-done steak and expensive hairspray. DONALD TRUMP sits at the head of a mahogany table, sharpie in hand, circling a large map of the Arctic. Surrounding him are JD VANCE (looking intensely focused), MARCO RUBIO (adjusting a tie that is already perfect), SCOTT BESSENT (calculating numbers on a napkin), and PETE HEGSETH (wearing a suit that looks like it’s hiding tactical body armor).

​TRUMP:

(Pointing a thumb at the map)

Look at it. It’s a lot of ice, but it’s beautiful ice. The best ice. Probably have more ice than anyone else in the world once we close the deal. And the minerals—JD, tell them about the minerals.

​VANCE:

Sir, the strategic depth is unparalleled. We’re talking rare earth elements that make Silicon Valley look like a lemonade stand. If we don’t take it, the woke-globalist-technocracy will let the Chinese build a lithium-powered missile base on the North Pole. All our foremost think tanks are telling me that China will be doing this soon. 

​TRUMP:

(Nodding)

Exactly. I saw that well before the bunch of idiots running Heritage, Hoover, CFR and CSIS. That’s something I will definitely take up with Xi in April. No nukes on the North Pole. If he’s not happy, he can go set it up in the south.

(chuckles)

Now, Marco—State........

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