Ranjini reminisces with a mix of nostalgia and regret about her years fighting in Sri Lanka's civil war as a former company commander of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), popularly known as the Tamil Tigers.

The 54-year-old recalls the camaraderie and sense of purpose felt during the conflict, even as she still struggles to find her place in a post-war society. Because of her crippling battle injuries, Ranjini limps, and can use only one arm.

"The sacrifices … the promises of a Tamil homeland remain unrealized. Somehow, I feel I am better prepared for death than for life," she told DW.

Ranjini lives in rural Kilinochchi, once a stronghold of the LTTE, with her 18-year-old daughter, Blessiya. She runs a poultry farm to earn a living.

"I only live now to see that she gets a good education and then a job and does not face any stigma," she said.

Ranjini surrendered less than a month before the 30-year-old bloody war ended in May 2009 with the defeat of the LTTE. She spent a year in the northern rehabilitation camp of Vavuniya.

"Many people still view us with distrust, fearing we might still harbor militant tendencies. The initial rejection isolated many women combatants socially,........

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