Romance isn’t dead, but in Lahore, it is flatlining

Dating in Lahore is an entire sport in itself. You have to pick the right coffee shop, the right corner, the right time of day, preferably somewhere your mother’s friend is unlikely to walk in, and pray the weather doesn’t ruin the outfit you spent an hour choosing.

Step inside any air-conditioned hipster café and you’ll spot them immediately. At least three couples tucked into corner booths, oblivious to the September heat, holding hands, or spoon-feeding each other tres leches cake while the staff desperately looks anywhere else.

Psychiatrist John Bowlby noted in his work on attachment theory that our drive for deep intimacy is a lot more than a nice-to-have. It’s an instinctual imperative. He observed that most intense human emotions are sparked during the formation, maintenance, and disruption of romantic bonds.

But it’s no secret that in Pakistan, instinctual imperative collides with cultural veto. Outside of a few ultra cosmopolitan bubble zones in Lahore, dating is policed by a rigid mix of religious norms and cultural scrutiny for consenting young adults.

To explore this weird, wonderful, and deeply neurotic dynamic, I polled 34 anonymous Lahoris navigating the city’s covert romance scene. I asked them two simple questions:

Is dating in Lahore difficult? Why?

Is dating in Lahore difficult? Why?

How do you deal with the weight of secrecy, guilt, conservative judgment, or moral hesitation that may come with it?

How do........

© Dawn Prism