Elon Must has become a trillionaire. World’s first since marhoom King Midas. Zara imagine karo! Now, Must can buy all the Birkin bags he wants. Even the lizard and alligator skin walay Birkins, with 18-carrot gold hard wear, entrusted with diamonds.

He can also buy as many Gucci shoes as he likes. And he never has to do bore, bore things like the dhobi ka hisaab and kitchen ka kharcha. What he will do with the diamond entrusted Birkins I don’t know, but Janoo was saying he has 14 children. Maybe he’ll give them to his daughters in their jahez.

But hearing that Elon Must has a lot many children surprised me, because I thought these days only the poors had so many children. The Old Bag’s cook in Sharkpur has 11 children. Our dhobi has nine — eight girls and one boy. Boy is youngest and is called Allah Ditta. We, of course, have just the one, our darling shweetoo Kulchoo. And even Janoo’s sisters, Cobra and Psycho, who are not as parrha likha or sophisty or, frankly, khaata peeta, as me, have only two each. But Janoo says that Elon is focused on having lots of white kids. Vaisay, who isn’t?

My cousin Bambi, poor thing, in........

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