Of the ten bullet-pointed demands in the Trump administration’s imperious letter to Harvard University, this one rises to Vonnegutian heights: “The University shall commission an external party … to audit the student body, faculty, staff, and leadership for viewpoint diversity, such that each department, field, or teaching unit must be individually viewpoint diverse.”

That’s real, by the way. The federal executive branch — in an administration that purports to be “conservative” — has demanded a private university hire a firm to audit all its students and teachers to make sure their overall thinking is acceptable to the government or else face a massive financial penalty. And, the letter continues, if Harvard doesn’t have the appropriate distribution of thought, the university must fix it; maybe expel some heretics and bring in others who think in a manner more pleasing to the government. Imagine for a moment if the Biden administration had made similar demands of BYU or the Citadel. Heck, pick any president in history and any college you’d like; the point holds.

The New York Times reported last week that the letter was authentic — it actually did come from the Trump administration — but was sent out mistakenly, before it had been fully vetted and approved. In a sense, it’s reassuring to know this madcap missive had not been green-lit at the highest levels; incompetence swamps intent, it turns out. Yet the White House dug in and defended itself by claiming, “It was malpractice on the side of Harvard’s lawyers not to pick up the phone and call the members of the antisemitism task force who they had been talking to for weeks.” Makes total sense: It’s actually Harvard’s fault, because the letter is so outrageous they should have assumed it was sent in error. (Again: This is real.)

The letter lays out a series of

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