I have been writing this annual post celebrating a handful of people who have achieved the impossible and miraculously failed to suck over the last twelve months for almost a decade now and I have little intention of ending this New Year’s ritual any time soon. Even my shrink agrees that it’s a healthy thing for a perpetually angry anarchist to do.

However, my obsessive-compulsive disorder will not allow me to ignore the fact that for several years running I have begun this list by observing with some astonishment that somehow this past year was even more brutally soul crushing than the last and this looks to be yet another ritual unlikely to change in the near future.

Just think about it, dearest motherfuckers. We’ve gone from Donald Trump being elected president on a promise to ethnically cleanse your local Walmart to his replacement, Joe Biden, somehow sucking bad enough to get that orange asshole reelected in a landslide to do what he failed miserably to do the first time around and make this car wreck country great again. But wait there’s more!

Just when you thought that the pandemic was the pinnacle of government facilitated catastrophe, Israel launches a genocidal war on everything brown that moves in the desert with the full financial and rhetorical support of both halves of our plutocratic duopoly.

…And just when you thought that bourgeoise America had finally tired of watching their police strangle one unarmed Black civilian after another on live television they decide that the pigs have become the real victims here and gave those swaggering welfare scroungers a raise.

…And just when you thought that the Wallstreet swamp flooding Wahington had provoked one crippling recession too many for middle American voters to stomach, MAGA populists put the richest man on earth in charge of reigning in government corruption.

Pardon my Esperanto, but what in the holy Jesus fuck is going on here? When did CNN go from being geopolitical Videodrome to an episode of The Twilight Zone with no end? I’m actually starting to miss ISIS. Maybe they’ll run a candidate for 2028 that’s just marginally more palatable than Kamala Harris.

I’d kick the TV out the goddamn window again but it’s the one thing distracting me from the fact that the only thing more heinous than the news right now is the raging volcano in the mirror.

This year brought me closer the brink of total madness than I even thought possible when my gender transition ended up unlocking a Pandora’s box........

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