The return of Trump. (Screengrab from ABCNews.)

In case you chucked a sickie (Aussie slang) like Michelle and rode out Hurricane Don making landfall (for the third time) at the Capitol, here are a few takeaways from the made-for-TV, Hallmark, Up-with-People proceedings:

—Trump’s demeanor during the run-up to the inauguration under the dome was that of a southern prison warden grimacing in the presence of a Peter, Paul, and Mary sing-along. If you could have written dialogue into a bubble over his combed-over perm (a color Farrow and Ball might call Perp Prawn?), it might have read: “Wait until Pam Jo Bondi puts about half of you people in jail.”

—As a sign of desperation, I found myself warming to Kamala Harris, who sat stone-faced through the entire ceremony, no doubt still in disbelief that half of voting Americans decided to return to the White House an adjudicated sexual abuser, convicted felon (34 times), financial fraudster, stockjobber, and serial liar.

—The Clintons were in the third row, so I could not follow their pained expressions, but I assume both were coming to the same conclusion that the leaderless and clueless Democratic party is ripe for the picking—as Biden will vanish into a California sunset and never be heard from again and Obama is too busy denying those rumors of an affair with Jen Anniston (consigning him to the Ross Geller dustbin of history).

—Biden looked happy to be there, finally included “in something”, although I kept waiting for Lady McBiden to poke him as he nodded off. She might also have offered the same service to Trump, who looked groggy waiting for his role........

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