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Graham Crackers: The Words of a Professional Warmonger

Lindsey Graham on Meet the Press. (Screen capture from video posted to X.)

Lindsey Graham said he would die with Israel and it has come to pass. One of the weirdest characters in US politics, Graham’s career was consistent in only one respect: war was his solution to any diplomatic problem. He had the mentality of a red-scare Cold Warrior in a time when the Cold War had ended. But Graham couldn’t relinquish his toxic animus for Russia, even as Russia embraced US-style gangster capitalism, imperialist ambitions and religious prudery. As a political figure, Graham was a senator in search of a father figure. First, he latched on to John McCain, almost to the point of slavish mimicry. But McCain at least enjoyed the appearance of independence, occasionally bucking his own party (largely because he craved the media spotlight that came with a performative “maverick”) and had a perverse sense of humor, even if his barbs were usually at the expense of a rival.

Graham seemed lonely and lost after McCain’s death, uncomfortable in his own skin. He inherited McCain’s seat on the Sunday talk shows. But he had none of McCain’s crusty charisma. Instead, Graham hectored and scolded and whined and pouted.  But he was humorless and abrasive. His only rhetorical talent was for invective. Graham’s media appearances came off as bombast with a bullhorn. His voice evinced none of the seductive qualities of the southern gentility, in whose political raiment he attempted to adorn himself.  Graham’s voice, especially when excited, had a shrill, shrieking-like quality that often verged on hysteria. His speeches alienated, even frightened, more than they persuaded.

Like many professional attack dogs, Graham needed a master; he had neither the guts nor the intellect to chart his own course or to build new coalitions. So he transferred his loyalty from McCain to the man McCain hated more than any other: Donald Trump. Graham willingly swallowed Trump’s insults like daily doses of cod liver oil. He renounced his moderate positions on trade, abortion, campaign finance reform, immigration and climate change to be in sync with his new skipper.  But like most sycophants, Graham couldn’t be trusted, not even by those at whose feet he bent the knee.

Graham once declared it was patriotic for Americans to cheat on their taxes. Of course, he’d’ve been the first one to jail, and probably torture, war tax resisters. A few months ago, Graham said he “felt good” about where the country was heading under Trump: “We’re killing all the right people and cutting your taxes.” This is a pretty concise description of the American imperial project since the Spanish-American War. Graham’s enduring legacy will be that of a blood-thirsty sycophant, willing to jettison any values and self-worth he once professed to be invited into the anterooms of power and receive a few patronizing pats on the head.

Ultimately, Lindsey Graham will go down as an inconsequential figure in American history, a bloodthirsty cheerleader for some of the nation’s most disastrous wars who lacked the courage to stand up for the few convictions he once held. To paraphrase Henry Kissinger on Bill Clinton being called a war criminal, “Lindsey Graham doesn’t have the moral fortitude to be consigned to the 9th Circle of Hell with the A-listers.” He’ll have to settle for some more obscure region of eternal torment, where nobody will even recall his name.

“Free speech is a great idea, but we’re in a war.”

“Today, I’m 60, I’m not married, I don’t have any kids.”

“It’s really American to avoid paying your taxes, legally.”

“I don’t blame anybody for using the tax code to their........

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