There’s a profound difference between depriving yourself—believing certain foods are off-limits because they’re “bad”—and consciously choosing to defer from indulging as an act of self-worth.

When we’re trapped in a mindset of restriction, we operate from fear—fear of failure, of judgment, of being “bad.” That comes with a whole lot of guilt and shame, resulting in disordered eating, an unhealthy relationship with food and poor body image. But when we learn to reframe our choices as acts of love and honour for our bodies, we build new neural pathways—brain grooves—that guide us toward achieving those results you've been wanting, and finally keep them.

Deprivation feels like punishment. Labeling foods as a “no-no” or “cheat” meal sets us up for rebellion. Our brains latch onto anything forbidden, elevating cravings and triggering guilt when we inevitably give in. That cycle reinforces negative self-talk (“I’m weak,” “I have zero self-control”, “I've got no willpower”), and keeps you stuck in a loop of shame and bingeing. The longer it goes on, the deeper the groove becomes.

In contrast, deliberate choice springs from what you believe about your self worth. You might choose not to have that pastry because you love how energized you feel after breakfast of eggs and fruit, or because you know that pastrty spikes your blood sugar, sapping your energy and allowing the brain fog to move in.

Deciding to defer is not denying........

© Castanet