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Nothing ruins a spy drama like a dog poo ad

26 0
24.08.2026

Minister Wells, thank you. You've opened up a world of exciting possibility with your AdStop initiative.

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I know your target is those brain-rotting gambling ads but imagine how much better life would be if AdStop extended its scope to include the other commercial intrusions that ruin a good night's viewing on free streaming platforms.

Believe me, Minister, Australia would be a happier place if we could banish a lot of them as well.

Those complex and compelling espionage dramas like The Agency would be easier to follow without being interrupted every few minutes by figure skater Kryshtof Pradeaux spinning gracefully to a Rick Astley cover - lovingly partnered with a giant KFC chicken drumstick. Or an all-singing, all-dancing ode to well-formed dog poo on behalf of pet food company Lyka.

The streamed commercial news bulletins might be easier to stomach too.

Enduring a run of car chases and crashes - all captured on CCTV or dashcam - only to suffer a 30-second collage of bogans tearing up the countryside in their Ford Rangers to 'Black Betty' is not only psychological torture. It's also encouraging the very behaviour about which the earnest newsreader has only just tut-tutted.

We could also do without the nonsensical Aldi ads, which try to be funny but fail and don't improve with the constant retelling. The wise old man on the floor comforting the exhausted woman rushing to find lower prices? Aldi. Creepy. Different.

Also, the daft Telstra animated whistling ad, particularly grating when it's buffering because their broadband service is sputtering.

And, seriously, does anyone really want to see a kid picking his nose and wiping his hand on the coffee table? Dettol would be one of the first on my AdStop list.

So, too, any ad with a jingle so bad it makes you want to stab yourself in the face.

Yes, you, The Grout Guy, I'm talking about you and your tuneless earworm: "We'll take the old grout out and put the new grout in. We'll fix your leaking shower make it brand new and sparkling."

You might not want to hear this, Minister, but at the very top of the list would be political TV ads. Once........

© Canberra Times