Out of place. Outcast. Out of sync. These are memories that hold. These are moments that hurt. These are times that sting. Such feelings go back a long way. In school, maybe with a particular class teacher.

In a family gathering when you felt left out. On a birthday where you were the odd one out. In a relationship where you were two but one. In a gathering where you felt too old, or too young, or too “desi” or too “simple” or too “flashy”.

In a workplace where there were many colleagues but you were the stranger. The sense of not belonging is an emotional cancer. It eats you up. It makes you alone. It makes you feel deserted. It erodes your self worth. Such aloneness then diminishes your talent, skills and productivity ripening the case for anxiety and depression.

What is this “need for belonging”? Dr Geoffrey Cohen, a professor of Psychology at Stanford, says “as a social species, we’ve evolved to be exquisitely attuned to whether or not we belong in our group, with our tribe, with our kin, and that includes our fictive kin.” The need to belong is acute from birth.

Children’s behaviour or misbehaviour is associated with their need to be accepted, blended and encouraged in various groups. It continues through life till you join associations and organizations. In organizations the search for finding talent is very important but to find a cultural fit is way down in the priorities.

The cultural adjustment is so important that even within multinational organizations the head-office culture prevails. Many times employees feel they do not........

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