My boss said I was ‘emotional’ when I asked for a pay rise. Is that fair?
My boss said I was ‘emotional’ when I asked for a pay rise. Is that fair?
August 14, 2026 — 5:15am
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I read your column last week and identified with the question-asker’s situation. Like them, I went through a period of being told during salary reviews that my performance did not warrant a pay increase. At first, this was disappointing but not worrying. The friendly tone of the discussions put my mind at ease and I told myself I just needed to work harder. After the third time, I politely raised the problem of a lack of any pay increase becoming a pay decrease in real terms.
When it happened again the next time, I became incensed. I said that if my performance was really so bad, my employer should just say so, and we could have an honest conversation about whether I needed to look for a new job. I was told I was being “emotional” and “unrealistic”. I look back now and wonder if my employer had a genuine reason for doing this or if I was blatantly being ripped off.
It sounds to me that your employer left you in a kind of career limbo, enacting a professional version of cruel and unusual punishment.
Getting warm and upbeat performance reviews that concluded with “... and you’re not getting a pay increase” would have been disorienting for........
