Democrat-Gazette online

I recently visited with one of my oldest and dearest friends from home, a gay man who was raised similarly to me in a traditional, conservative version of Christianity and who, also similarly to me, took it more seriously than most. By that I mean that he lived and breathed it. Earnestly and tenderly felt the call of God on his life. Asked himself in virtually every situation, WWJD? Had daily devotions. Memorized scripture. Honored his father and mother. Evangelized strangers. Didn't drink, smoke, or chew, and didn't hang out with people who do.

In college while I was signing purity pacts, reading Elisabeth Elliot and Joshua Harris and vowing not to kiss till I was married, he was begging God to change him, to make him attracted to girls. God let me go down my road of puritanical discipline straight into a toxic marriage, but to my friend's pleas to become heterosexual, God said an emphatic no.

Fast forward through my divorce and his coming out, suicidal thoughts, an abusive relationship, return to church albeit a different version of Christianity altogether, marriage to a wonderful man, a family, and therapy--and we were sitting in his house talking about how for two relatively smart people, we have made some really dumb choices.

My friend is in therapy now for anxiety. He started going after I told him how much it was helping me unravel the........

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